With a friend, your family or in your small group, discuss the following questions. 

1. Have you ever tried to teach a child how to give and receive forgiveness? Or have you observed a parent trying to teach their child how to do this? What have you seen happen? What are the challenges? What do the natural human tendencies of children reveal about the ways that forgiveness is challenging for us, even as adults?
2. Do you find it difficult to forgive others when they have wronged you? What about asking for forgiveness when you have hurt someone else? What are the challenges that you have experienced when it comes to giving and receiving forgiveness?
3. Consider our culture today. In the past, forgiveness was a widely accepted value. It was seen as virtuous, good, and healing to extend forgiveness to those who have hurt us. Although some still hold this view, have you noticed other perspectives being expressed in our society today? What have you heard (or experienced) when it comes to the ‘dark side of forgiveness’? Why do you think some people question whether forgiveness is truly a good idea? Can you think of any misunderstandings about forgiveness that have contributed to this?
4. Reflect together on the parable of the Unforgiving Debtor, found in Matthew 18:21-35. What stands out to you? What do you think this parable teaches about what forgiveness looks like in the Kingdom of God?
5. What is your understanding of forgiveness? Look through the lists below of what forgiveness isn’t, and what forgiveness is. Does anything surprise you on these lists? What resonates? What do you find challenging?
6. When we forgive someone, we release them of their debt. Rather than continuing to want them to have to pay the price, we accept that we have had to bear the burden of the consequences of their sin, and we genuinely work towards being able to bless them. In what ways is this difficult for us to do? How has Jesus modelled this for us? What can we learn from Him, through his actions and his teaching, about the importance and the power of forgiveness?

Forgiveness isn’t:

• Ignoring or forgetting
• Condoning or excusing
• Tolerating or allowing further abuse
• Reconciliation or restoration
• Returning back to the way things were before
• Allowing the offender to escape consequences

Forgiveness is:

• Giving up my right to retaliate
• Changing my heart attitude towards the offender
• Remembering that God has forgiven me
• Rediscovering their humanity
• Offering compassion instead of hatred

Prayer and Action Item 

Pray for one another out of the key points that were discussed. Spend time giving thanks for the unfathomable depth of forgiveness God has extended to us. Invite God’s Spirit to search your mind and heart, and reveal where forgiveness is needed. Is there anything you need to confess? Are there any relationships that need to be set right? Is there anyone you need to extend forgiveness to? Begin this journey by praying for those who have hurt you, and inviting God to transform your heart towards them.